More strange dreams. This evil infection of my ear attacks the hardest at night. It keeps me awake, unable to relax and racked with aching pain. I intended to wake up at an early hour today but because of my sleepless night ended up sleeping until past noon once again. The dream:
I was leaving work for Thanksgiving holiday. The setting was dreary in a cinematic kind of way. Shortly after arriving home for the holidays one of my grandmas? (both are already deceased in real life,) or possibly my aunt unexpectedly passed away. The event put a whole dark damper over an already dark-mooded Thanksgiving. Everyone was sad and depressed but the family resolved to continue on with the holiday anyway. My Uncle Steve, or Richard, can't remember which, then saw something horrific and pointed my attention towards it. My cousin Darla, stricken with grief, had leaped from the 13th street bridge in Paso Robles, but in the dream the bridge went over a rocky area of tidal ocean, and was also right at the base of my Aunt Linda's driveway of her real-life house. I completely lost it, breaking down in my dream and sobbing, (woke later to find my cheeks were still wet from actually crying in my sleep.) My uncle asked me to come with him to inform the family of what we were seeing and I refused, I specifically remember saying in my dream, "I cannot do this." He went onward with the task of delivering the news. I stayed and watched Darla's body lying in the rocks with the gentle surf going over it and away from it. In the dream there was a complete police investigation into the matter and it was ruled a suicide but I had my doubts. There was some object that I knew if it was still in Darla's pocket would prove she hadn't killed herself. I went down into the rocky ocean area to retrieve it and sure enough it was there in her pocket. (I can't recall upon wakening what the object was, dammit.) I left and contemplated for what seemed like days in my dream as to what to do with my found information. I never reached a decision. At night I was walking up Aunt Linda's driveway (it's where I was staying while in my dream.) There was a huge storm raging and the sea beneath the bridge was roaring and tossing violently. The tide was all the way in and completely hid Darla's body from view. I went inside and laid down to bed and started hearing something coming from the kitchen. I got out of bed and went out to the kitchen and discovered my Mom sitting at the counter playing a tape recorder over and over. I heard something coming from it along the lines of "they're in our house," or something to that effect, it was like a ghost message though people who used to be there and were long gone, something like that. My Mom was very bothered by this, she had the worried look on her face that she had all the time during her last year alive. She wanted me to listen to it closely and handed me a pair of headphones to put on. I had put my arm around her shoulders to enjoy the short time I knew I had with her and tried to comfort her to whatever had her so scared in my dream. Then I woke up.
This ear infection has to go, I feel like it's crippling me somehow mentally. Makes it hard to concentrate on things. The photo of Clay is in the alleyway behind Brooks and Scoti's old house before cruisenight one year. Another photo of Ariel Mile. The photo of the cattle was taken out east of Paso. It was one of the first photos I took to fulfill an assignment at Brooks. Might in fact have been my first time shooting chrome. I've always been really fond of it.
I will not be finishing Beach Music. It is utter garbage that I have no intention of devoting any more time or effort into. This was confirmed by someone else whom Paul had pushed the book on as well previously. Time to find a new book. More to come, as well as my ear getting better!
